Q Toon: Tuberville at 20,000 Feet

I loathe headlines that give away the punch line, but I wonder how many people half my age would catch the reference in the first place.

Ah, well. If you didn't catch the reference in the headline, you didn't catch the reference in the cartoon, either. Ask a Boomer.

And if you didn’t get the reference to Senator Tommy Bubbaville (R-AL) and his goofy speech decrying the Federal Aviation Administration’s lax attitude toward furry airline employees, well, what are you doing here? 

I mean, it was in all the topical late-night shows and cable news programs desperate for a break from war, inflation, and a reckless regime running roughshod over democracy. There's an election coming up, and it's high time to do your homework for it.

When this idea first came to me, I didn’t remember that the gremlin on the wing of William Shatner’s airplane was itself quite furry. Somehow, I had something more Salt Vampire-like in my memory. Checking images from the original Twilight Zone episode meant having to tweak the dialogue slightly; I think it still works, though.

My, My, July

We've got more stuff from the Bergetoons vault in today's Graphical History Tour. 

You'll have to pardon me for indulging in rehashing my own cartoons three Saturdays in a row; in my defense, we had two prominent Senators knocking on death's door this month, and I didn't find much inspiration in cartoons published 100 Julys ago. "Oliphant's Presidents" has already been done (although I suppose I could have tried putting an "Oliphant's Vice Presidents" thing together).  

1986

in NorthCountry Journal, Poynette Wis., July 1986

The cartoons I drew for the NorthCountry Journal directly reflected the editorials in each monthly issue. This one had to do with 44 Wisconsin conservation clubs joining with the Wildlife Legislative Fund of America, a pro-hunting lobbying group, to "defeat the anti-hunting movement before it defeats us," according to WLFA chair Jim Glass. 

The NorthCountry Journal reported that the WLFA was funded by grants from Woodstream Corporation (makers of Victor traps), the fur industry, the Mellon Foundation, and national sportsmen organizations.

The WLFA had chosen Wisconsin as the pilot program for its "Protect What's Right" campaign because "if it doesn't fly in Wisconsin, it's not going to fly at all," said Glass, a Rockwell International executive from Columbus, Ohio. Wisconsin has a very strong and long-standing hunting tradition; I don't recall it ever being a hotbed of anti-hunting legislation. 

In fact, the legislation I do recall includes a 2003 constitutional amendment guaranteeing right to hunt and fish.

1996

"Our Problem" in Journal Times, Racine Wis., July 7, 1996

This cartoon expands on an neighbors' successful fight to block a proposed halfway house for offenders who had served their prison sentence (see the unpublished local cartoon posted back in May), as well as Racine taxpayers' objection to a .1% sales tax in Milwaukee and adjacent counties to help pay for the Brewers' new baseball stadium. The stadium tax had prompted a recall of a Republican member of the State Senate from Racine, which would result in flipping the State Senate to a Democratic majority.

The upscale North Bay neighborhood was up in arms against having a home for developmentally challenged adults nearby, successfully blocking that proposal, too. Complaints against property taxes funding the public schools coming from retirees whose children had graduated has been a never ending constant as far back as I can remember.

A letter to the editor responding to my cartoon argued a distinction between schools and the halfway homes on the one hand and the baseball stadium on the other. "Homes for the mentally retarded, prisons, and schools are all public problems," Annette Richie wrote. "Baseball is a private enterprise and should not be subsidized by citizens' tax dollars."

It's an argument with merit, but without a successful track record.

By the way, every little bit of that cartoon, including the diagonal line shading, I drew by hand. So don't give me that "AI Is Art, Too" crap.

2006

July, 2006

So now we turn from the local stuff to the gay stuff.

You wouldn't know it these days, but July used to be a lull in the news cycle. I can't recall whether I drew this cartoon in response to any specific gay celebrity getting caught with his pants down, or if I came up with it when there wasn't anything current in the news to draw about.

This was before Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) got arrested for lewd conduct in a rest room at the Twin Cities International Airport, after which late night comedians were guaranteed a laugh by citing the airport or inserting the words "wide stance" in a punch line. Years earlier, George Michael's public loo escapades had been fodder for fallback punch lines.

2016

July, 2016

I drew this cartoon a little too late for most LGBTQ Pride events. A number of Pride parades in the U.S. and Canada had been disrupted by protesters from within our community who objected to other the inclusion of certain other LGBTQ subgroups.

Toronto Pride had assigned the lead spot in their parade to the local Black Lives Matter group, which returned the favor by blocking the parade, setting off multi-colored smoke bombs, and refusing to move until a list of demands was met, including the removal of police from the parade ‒ both as participants and as protection.

The subgroups mentioned in later panels have not, so far as I know, gone quite so far as to disrupt Pride parades in progress. The objections raised by Palestinian, Jewish, animal rights activist, anti-corporate, and anti-religious LGBTQ groups, however, have been real. 

The overt hostility and persecution by Republicans running state and federal government has probably tempered any such controversies this year — except for either side of the Israeli-Palestinian divide.

Not that everything went smoothly this year. Police aggressively attacked people in Philadelphia's Gayborhood during that city's Pride festival. https://epgn.com/2026/06/09/community-responds-to-gayborhood-police-presence-pride/

Dallas Pride Board officials have been accused of embezzling funds and financial mismanagement

sponsors withdrawing support https://blog.presspassq.gay/2026/07/pride-celebrations-marred-by-controversies-cuts-in-funding.html

February Shorten Suite

Today's Graphical History Tour steps back forty, thirty, twenty, and ten Februaries ago to check out what I was drawing back then.

1986

in NorthCountry Journal, Poynette Wis., February, 1986

I can't remember the exact point of the editorial that accompanied this cartoon in the environmentally-focused NorthCountry Journal, but it's not difficult to guess the general drift. 

Drawing architecture is not one of my favorite pastimes; I must have used a straightedge to draw so many parallel lines, and somehow managed not to smear any wet india ink. There is, miraculously, no white-out on the original of this particular cartoon.

1996

Rummaging through my cartoon files from 30 Februaries ago, I first found a cartoon likening reactionary GOP presidential contender Pat Buchanan to Nazis — which I still think is valid — but then I came across this one.

in UWM Post, Milwaukee, February 29, 1996

Lamar Alexander, a former Governor of Tennessee and Secretary of Education in the George H.W. Bush administration, was dubbed by the professional punditry one of the moderates in the GOP presidential field.

Which just goes to show how long the positions he espoused in my cartoon have been mainstream in the Republican Party. Abolishing the Department of Education since became GOP platform boilerplate, so the Lawless Trump Regime's destruction of the DOE is no longer anything new or surprising.

Alexander's proposed "new military department responsible for drug enforcement" and "dealing with illegal immigration," put forth more than five years before 9/11, is now the Lawless Trump Regime's Department of Homeland Security.

2006

for Q Syndicate, February 2006

But enough about politics.

Awards season affords a welcome opportunity to step away from the news out of Washington and whatever politician is trying to capitalize on homophobia at the moment. Movies with Oscar nominations in 2006 included Brokeback Mountain, TransAmerica, and Capote, promising one of the most LGBTQ-centric ceremonies since, well, 1960. 

By the way, do I have to explain now where these women are and what they are doing? Naah, not gonna do it. Go ask your mother.

2016

for Q Syndicate, February, 2016

Staying with Hollywood, my cartoon ten Februaries later remarked how straight actors win praise for playing LGBTQ roles, but out LGBTQ actors can get pigeonholed having to play LGBTQ roles exclusively.

There have been some notable exceptions to the practice in the last ten years, notably Jonathan Bailey as Bridgerton heartthrob Anthony, Neil Patrick Harris as How I Met Your Mother's Barney Stinson, Jim Parsons as Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper, and Matt Bomer in role after role after role.

Theater has a long history of white actors playing Parts of Color (from Othello to The Mikado to Apache), but that's decidedly out of fashion these days.

There are some who advocate that only LGBTQ actors should portray LGBTQ characters; but there is little chance of that as long as actors such as Rami Malek, Nick Offerman, Brendan Fraser, and Ewan McGregor keep winning awards for gay roles.

🌈

Rev. Jesse Jackson passed away this week, so I'll close today's Graphical History Tour in his memory with one of the cartoons I drew of him during his 1984 presidential campaign.

January, 1984

My cartoon, drawn after Jackson led a delegation of Black faith leaders who secured the release from Syria of U.S. Navy Lt. Robert Goodman, seems not to have been published. The UW-Parkside Ranger instead printed a cartoon I drew in which a stack of papers on Secretary of State George Schultz listed a number of pending foreign policy issues, including suspended nuclear disarmament talks, yellow rain, a Korean passenger plane shot down by the U.S.S.R., and the 241 Marines killed in a Beirut suicide bombing.

One might argue that the 52 U.S. hostages freed by Iran on Reagan's first hour in office outweigh the one seaman freed by Syria; but I would argue that Reagan was responsible not for achieving but for delaying the Iran hostages' release, so that doesn't count.

In any event, freeing Lt. Goodman, who had been shot down over Lebanon, captured, and taken to Damascus, established Rev. Jackson as more than a special interest candidate in the 1984 Democratic primaries. He was among the front runners for the nomination four years later, then concentrated on leading his PUSH/Rainbow Coalition.

In spite of being visibly afflicted with Parkinson's disease, Jackson came to Kenosha to march in a Black Lives Matter protest a month after the 2020 riot there, and spoke at the church where I was working at the time. I did not get to meet him, but here's a photo of him at Grace Lutheran Church with an assistant and Greater Milwaukee Synod (ELCA) Bishop Paul Erickson, and another of some of the local television coverage.

January ’Sixes

This week's Graphical History Tour opens on a somber note, as we come to January, 1986, and one of those moments where anybody alive them remembers where they were and what they were doing.

in UW-Parkside Ranger, Somers Wis., Feb. 6, 1986

On January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger exploded at "throttle up," just over a minute after launch. All aboard were killed, including schoolteacher Christa McAuliffe, chosen to be the first civilian passenger to fly into space. 

In five years, space shuttle flights had almost become routine, but because of McAuliffe's presence on the crew, millions of schoolchildren across the country were watching the liftoff. It was carried live on all the TV networks. 

We all knew the liftoff was not supposed to look like this. Everyone looked on in stunned silence, hoping against all reason to see the shuttle emerge from the fireball.

But no escape measures available to the crew; ejection seats and full pressure suits used in the first four space shuttle test flights had been removed before operational flights began in 1981. It's highly improbable that they would have been helpful in the event of an explosion, anyway.

A Presidential Commission attributed the explosion to a faulty O-ring made of material vulnerable to changes in temperature (there had been freezing temperatures in Florida overnight). Shuttle flights were suspended until September 29, 1988, after the implementation of new safety measures and stricter design standards.

1996

in UWM Post, Milwaukee Wis., Jan. 25, 1996

We’re now in an even-numbered year, so here’s fair warning that upcoming Graphical History Tours are going to include some presidential election cartoons. Fair warning also that it’s January, and someone is getting ready to harangue a joint session of Congress live on all the TV networks.

President Bill Clinton was all set to run for reelection in January of 1996. While there was a crowded Republican field heading into the year, Senate Majority Leader Robert Dole was the odds-on favorite. 

Multi-millionaire Steve Forbes, Jr., with a fortune at his disposal and a signature issue of replacing the current income tax system with a simple “flat tax” for everybody, had emerged as Dole’s closest rival.

2006 

for Q Syndicate, January, 2006

I have to tell you, when I was thumbing through my cartoons from January of 2006 to decide which one to post today, I had absolutely no recollection of what television show this cartoon was about.

The series might have been an attempt to update “Touched by an Angel” (1994-2003), or to make a faith-based “Harvey”; obviously, it never caught on. 

It was apparently one of the uncounted eminently forgettable January replacement series that come and go like Frosty the Snowman. Facebook Memories just reminded me of another such failed series, “¡Bob!”, a vehicle for Rob Schneider and Cheech Marin. I’m wondering if either of them remember it. I’ll bet you don’t.

2016

for Q Syndicate, January, 2016

Here's a cartoon about a spate of "religious liberty" laws, pushed by Republicans to legalize discrimination against LGBTQ+ persons — special rights for straights.

What I love about this cartoon is how easy winter scenes are to draw. Especially when the object is to set the cartoon in the middle of the most desolate nowhere imaginable. I may have spent more time thinking up the cartoon than drawing it, even considering all that lettering of the dialogue.

Well, here's where the Graphical History Tour ends today. Safe travels, drive carefully, remember to steer into a skid, and always remember to carry a blanket and maybe an extra jacket in the car.

Q Toon: It's About Time

Say what you will about Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA). Republicans came to Congress with a majority pledging openness and transparency, and Johnson has been very open and transparent about not having taken the time to find out what's going on in the country.

You can ask him about the Trump regime's graft and corruption, Trump's granting pardons to people the President has never heard of, Trump posting scatological videos on Ministry of Truth Social, Trump bombing boats off the coast of Venezuela seemingly at random, Trump bailing out the Milei regime in Argentina and taking in shiploads of Argentinian beef while our own government is shut down and our farmers are losing markets to China thanks to Trump's misguided tariff policies. 

Johnson's answer is pretty much the same.

“I’m not trying to dodge the question,” the top lawmaker said. “I haven’t had time to get the details, OK? That’s still on my list, things-to-do list.”

We know that whatever is keeping Speaker Johnson so busy he can't get around to his things-to-do list, it isn't running the House of Representatives. When Congress failed to pass a continuing resolution to keep the government open, he sent the members home. When Arizona voters sent Adelita Grijalva to succeed her late father in Congress, Johnson told them, "All representatives are currently out of the office, but your call is very important to us. Please hang up and your vote will be ignored in the order you get redistricted."

Why, then, is Speaker Johnson unable to find the time to get anything done, to catch up on the news, to notice that a 34-time-convicted felon is running roughshod over the U.S. Constitution?

You may be holding it in your hands right now.

Every app on your phone is designed to be a bigger timesuck than the others.

I don't know much about that app Mr. Johnson and Mr. Johnsonson use to keep tabs on each other's sexual activity, but you have to know that it sucks its users in and keeps them engaged with the promise that if they just keep reading on, pushing its buttons, racking up higher scores, clicking on those video reels of attractive people abstaining from sex, something really worthwhile is bound to come up on the screen any minute.

By the way, if you liked this cartoon about Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, here are some others you might enjoy.

This Week's Sneak Peek

The more I think about it, I wish I had used "You're fired" as the punch line for last week's cartoon.

The "indefinite suspension" of Jimmy Kimmel after direct and explicit demands from Federal Communications Commission chair Brendan Carr that ABC cancel Kimmel's late night television show – and after Reichsfuhrer Donald Berzelius Trump promised after Colbert's cancelation that Kimmel would be next – was the real story of the week, not social media's wild speculation as to the motives of Charlie Kirk's assassin.

Somebody must get Carr to answer what exactly, was Kimmel's offense. Did he quote the nasty things Kirk has said over the years after George Floyd was killed, or Paul Pelosi was attacked? Did he mock him for saying that school shootings and the other thousands of gun deaths every year were worth it to keep Second Amendment rights? Did he say that Kirk deserved what he got?

No, no, and no.

You don't have to judge Kimmel by the no-context chyrons on the evening news, or the ten-second clip shared by Colbert, Fallon, Meyers, Oliver, et al. Here is how Kimmel's final monologue actually went:

"We hit some new lows over the weekend, with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.

"In between the finger pointing there was grieving. On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism, but on a human level you can see how hard the President is taking this."

The late-night host then played a clip of President Trump being asked how he has been holding up since the killing, to which Trump responds: "I think very good" and begins to talk about plans for the new White House ballroom.

The show then cuts back to Kimmel, who continues: "Yes, he's at the fourth stage of grief; construction.

"Demolition..construction...

"This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend, this is how a four-year-old mourns a goldfish, ok. And it didn't just happen once".

The host then played another clip of the President on Fox News revealing the moment he was told Kirk had been shot while he was with the architects for the new White House ballroom.

The show cuts back to Kimmel, who says: "And then we installed the most beautiful chandelier...[inaudible] you wouldn't believe.

"There's something wrong with him — there really is. I mean, who thinks like that and why are we building a $200million ballroom in the White..., Is it possible that he is doing it intentionally, so we can be mad about that instead of the Epstein list?

"By the time he's out of office, the White House will have slot machines and a water slide.

"Trump is in major change the subject mode, on Friday he stopped by the always friendly morning crew at Fox. Whenever Trump goes on Fox & Friends it's funny because the hosts are so eager for him to be reasonable, they spell it all out for him. They desperately want to avoid having to nod along with anything crazy or contradict him so they give him the question, and their preferred answer too.

Kimmel then plays a clip from the Fox & Friends interview where the hosts asked the President: "Is the message too, to the right, the people who are going to go 'I want revenge', not to have revenge, Charlie Kirk would not want revenge?" To which the President responds "he would want revenge at the voter [ballot] box"

The show cuts back to Kimmel, who says: "Good answer right, take it to the ballot box. That's reasonable, that's almost presidential but that's the thing, he can never just stop right there."

The late-night host then plays another clip from the Fox & Friends interview where the President remarks that California "doesn't have ballot boxes."

The show cuts back to Kimmel, who says: "Oh well, in that case begin the purge."

"For the record, we live in California we do have ballot boxes, we've got mail boxes, we have lunch boxes, we have all kinds of boxes, you should come see them sometime, we'll give you a toolbox, you can live in it.

"And then we have this head of the FBI, this character Kash Patel who so far has handled this investigation into the murder of Charlie Kirk like a kid who didn't read the book BS-ing his way through an oral report."

The show cuts to the FBI director on Fox, defending a social media post he made about the arrest of a "subject" in the hours after Kirk was shot, who was later released, telling the show: "I was telling the world what the FBI was doing as we were doing."

The show cut backs to Kimmel, who says: "...which was claiming we caught the killer when we had not.

"Kash Patel always looks like he just got hit by a Volkswagen."

He continues: "The Governor of Utah, Governor Spencer Cox, has been a rare voice of sanity after what happened in his state, he urged Americans to choose humanity, connection and love and even encouraged us to listen to people we disagree with, which is not the plan according to Marjorie Taylor Greene.

"Klan Mom wrote today, 'There's nothing left to talk about with the left, they hate us. They assassinated our nice guy who actually talked to them, peacefully debating ideas. Then millions on the left celebrated and made clear they want all of us dead. To be honest I want a peaceful, national divorce,' the same thing her husband said about two and half years ago.

"But a peaceful national divorce, how would that work? You get Florida, we get Vermont? We share custody of Disney World every other weekend? She's right. The right it feels like we are all stuck in a marriage to Marjorie Taylor Greene right now."

This Week's Sneak Peek

While drawing my cartoon last night, I decided to catch up on some of the late night talk shows that I had missed while My Better Half and I were on vacation earlier this month.

When I called up On Demand list for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on our Spectrum cable TV service, I discovered that the most recent episode was June 9. That was one of the the last Late Shows before Colbert went on a vacation, came back with a mustache, and got canceled by Paramount-CBS as a favor to the Despotic Trump Regime. None of the July and August episodes were available.

I'm not sure what Spectrum is up to; the other episodes available are not the immediately previous ones, as has usually been the case with The Late Show and every other program.

Is this a new Spectrum policy? Artificial Intelligence imagining what episodes I might prefer? Are the rest of his shows available only by subscription to Paramount-Plus? Or is CBS censoring Colbert now that they've cancelled his show?

Have we always been at war with Eastasia?

Toon: Coming to CBS Late Nights!

CBS announced yesterday that Late Night with (and without) Stephen Colbert will be cancelled as of May next year — supposedly for “purely financial” reasons.

Well, yeah. The Tiffany Network can't afford to shell out $16 million every time the petty dictator currently in the White House gets his fragile ego chipped.

CBS's parent company, Paramount Global wants to sell itself out to Skydance Media, which will require FCC approval under Trump's transactional regime. It has already sold itself out to Trump, surrendering to his nuisance lawsuit, a complaint that editing of a 60 Minutes interview with Vice President Kamala Harris somehow damaged the Marquis of Mar-a-Lago.

Ah, well. Kowtowing to Republicans offended by left-leaning satire ain't nothing new to CBS.

"Why, That Nut Was Trying to Water My Desert" by Bill Sanders in Milwaukee Journal, April 9, 1969

An Ill Wind

Here's a local issue cartoon — or at least it was when I drew it. Since then, I've seen the story reported on international media and late-night chat show monologues. By the time you read this, it'll probably have its own page on Wikipedia.

Samantha Kuffel, 31, was one of the on-air meteorologists at Milwaukee's CBS affiliate, WDJT-58. But right-wing professional umbrage-takers raised a ruckus after she posted on Instagram about Elon Musk's Nazi salute from the podium bearing the presidential seal at Donald Trump's inauguration festivities. 

Was it? Neo-nazis think so. Judge for yourself.

It cost her her job.

"Meteorologist Sam Kuffel is no longer employed at CBS58," said the staff memo from news director Jessie Garcia that was obtained by the Journal Sentinel. "A search for a replacement is underway."

A spokeswoman for Weigel Broadcasting Co. confirmed via email late Wednesday that Kuffel was no longer with Channel 58. But the spokeswoman said she couldn't comment further because this was a personnel issue.

On Tuesday, conservative radio host Dan O'Donnell sharply criticized Kuffel for her two Instagram posts, accusing her of "spreading the lie that Elon Musk was giving a Nazi salute" during the presidential inauguration. He labeled her posts "vulgar."

Was she fired for daring to speak up against the rising tide of fascism in this country? Did Channel 58 worry that viewers wouldn't be able to trust her impartiality when it comes to what percentage chance there is of precipitation or how to calculate wind chill?

Kuffel gave management every excuse to let her go. The Guardian quotes the employment-terminating unexpurgated Instagram posts:

“Dude Nazi saluted twice. Twice. During the inauguration. You fuck with this and this man, I don’t fuck with you. Full stop.”

In her second post, Kuffel appeared to post a screenshot of a scene from the FX sitcom It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia in which Rob McElhenney’s character Mac says: “Screw that old bitch. He’s a Nazi.”

Don't go looking for Kuffel's Instagram account now; it's been deactivated.

Those of us in the media, if we want to hang onto our jobs, have to be judicious in how we speak in public. I can cuss a blue streak at my computer; but on-line, restraint is the rule. Quoting other people is one thing; but in cartoons and here on the blog, 

Bad language or abuse
I never ever use
Whatever the emergency.
Though "Bother it!" I may
Occasionally say,
I never use a big, big "D."

No, never.

Well, hardly ever.

Finally, Sam — can I call you that? You local TV news people try so hard to be our friends I feel that I know you — Anyway, Sam, you have to keep in mind at all times that Trump and his MAGA minions are thin-skinned, easily butt-hurt snowflakes. 

Think what happened to you was unfair? Why, they even took offense at Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde and demanded that the New Jersey-born cleric be deported for closing her sermon with this:

“Let me make one final plea, Mr. President. Millions have put their trust in you and, as you told the nation yesterday, you have felt the providential hand of a loving God. In the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now. 

"There are gay, lesbian and transgender children in Democratic, Republican, and Independent families, some who fear for their lives. The people who pick our crops and clean our office buildings; who labor in poultry farms and meat packing plants; who wash the dishes after we eat in restaurants and work the night shifts in hospitals. They…may not be citizens or have the proper documentation. But the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals. They pay taxes and are good neighbors. They are faithful members of our churches and mosques, synagogues, gurudwaras and temples. 

"I ask you to have mercy, Mr. President, on those in our communities whose children fear that their parents will be taken away. And that you help those who are fleeing war zones and persecution in their own lands to find compassion and welcome here. Our God teaches us that we are to be merciful to the stranger, for we were all once strangers in this land. 

"May God grant us the strength and courage to honor the dignity of every human being, to speak the truth to one another in love and walk humbly with each other and our God for the good of all people. Good of all people in this nation and the world. Amen”

Not an F-word, or even a big, big D, in her whole sermon.

Q Toon: Deck the Hallmarks

I've got time for just one more Christmas cartoon this year, so here goes:

Five years ago, my cartoon on this subject lampooned a Christian Nationalist trouble-maker who, in a fit of pique and self-promotion, had presented the Hallmark Channel with a petition demanding that it cancel production and broadcast of Christmas Holiday movies with LGBTQ+ central characters.

Controversy and outrage erupted in conservative circles after a November 15 interview with Hallmark Channel CEO Bill Abbot for The Hollywood Reporter's TV's Top 5 podcast. Abbot stated that he would be "open" to the idea of a gay-themed Christmas movie, although the channel has yet to produce one and has no immediate plans to do so. The channel is said to be releasing over three dozen Christmas-themed films this year, none with gay major characters.

Since then, Hallmark has added LGBTQ+ fare to its holiday offerings at every year, as has Lifetime. Netflix joined the party in 2021.  

Hallmark has cut back somewhat on making the Yuletide gay this year, however. I'm told there is only one holiday feature that includes a LGBTQ+ couple, and only as one plot line among several in a sequel about some sort of AirBnB/Vrbo/hostel where love is in the air ducts. 

That's one couple, in one movie, among 50 new Hallmark holiday movies this season. With a repressive regime in complete control in this country next year, I wouldn't expect any gay-friendly Hallmark treacle for Christmas, 2025.

So, of course, the Hallmark movie in my cartoon is completely made up, as are Ty Askew and Casey Rossera. The Catholic Censorship League would have a fit over any TV show depicting a closeted priest succumbing to the charms of an atheist guy under the pagan mistletoe; perhaps Ron Reagan Jr. and the Enforced Freedom from Religion folks would file their complaints as well.

Unless the professional complainer class decides it's not worth it to give the Christmas movie factories the free publicity of a formal protest. It's not as if any of what Hallmark, Lifetime, or Netflix has actually extruded for the holiday is apt to rival Shakespeare anyway. Or Dickens.

Whether The Bishop's Wife or Die Hard or Elf or Red One is more your style, we wish you a merry Christmas.

Beethoven's Birthday's Sneak Peek

Instead of the usual rough sketch or snippet from this week's cartoon, here's the first panel from one that came up in my Facebook Memories the other day:

Sondern laβt uns angenehmere anstimmen, und freudenvollere!

Q Toon: Citius, Altius, Querulius

Someone got the Christian Right all riled up about the over-the-top opening extravaganza for the 2024 Paris Olympic Games. A tableau including a cast of drag queens and an oversized Smurf was supposedly a blasphemous parody of Michelangelo's painting of the Last Supper. Before long, the outrage had spread like mono at a summer camp.

Except, of course, that it was meant to portray a bacchanalia out of Greek myth, and the Last Supper was supposedly not that wild. Just because Jesus's disciples couldn't stay awake afterward, taking post-prandial naps doesn't mean they were in full party mode.

Then last week, the same people got their panties in a collective wad over a transgender female boxer from Algeria who won against a cisgender female boxer from Italy. Fox Noise Machine went into overdrive. Right-wing cartoonists cranked out toons of burly behemoths pummeling defenseless little girls. Even President Melloni of Italy, Trump, and J.D. Vance weighed in.

The thing is, however, that the boxer from Algeria has been female all her life. By every measure promoted by transphobic Republicans — what's on her birth certificate? what's her given name? who does her grandmother think she is? — she is a woman. Not that you’re likely to see any apologies from the people who accused her of being Andre the Giant in drag.

There are certain people here and abroad who make their living being perpetually offended and making sure their audience is, too. 

Don't be surprised if somebody gets all upset that the closing ceremonies end without the IOC wishing the world a "merry Christmas."

Q Toon: That I Canst Thee Tell

We don't have Starz TV in our home, so I haven't seen their current in-and-out-of-costume drama, "Mary and George," a series about Mary Villiers' scheming to secure her son George as King James I's royal boy toy.

For the benefit of American readers whose knowledge of British history is gleaned exclusively from television, I have to explain that the Queen Anne in my cartoon is not the one portrayed by Olivia Colman in "The Favourite," but James's wife, Anne of Denmark. She was still very much alive when James began his dalliance with the young George Villiers; in fact, it is thought that she promoted his rise as a way of getting rid of James's then favourite, Robert Carr, Earl of Somerset.

Maybe that's in the Starz TV version. I suppose it ought to be. 

Now, if you are following the Starz TV series, here's your warning of spoilers ahead.

One might suppose that by the time she was hooking her husband up with a new boyfriend, Anne's marital relationship had withered to the point that I imagine that she had her own "I Really Don't Care Do U" jacket. The royal couple had been living separately since the death of their youngest child, Sophia. (Four of their seven children died in infancy; the oldest, Henry, died of typhoid at the age of 18). 

Once Villiers entered the picture, James seems to have almost forgotten that Anne even existed. She was very sick for several years before her death in 1619, but he paid only three visits to her at Somerset House during her illness.

Villiers's ascendency lasted beyond James's reign and into that of the king's surviving son, Charles I. Rumor had it that his affair with the reigning monarch continued as well.

Villiers was a trusted adviser to Charles, but an incompetent one. As Lord Admiral and de facto Foreign Minister, Villiers launched a naval expedition to wrest Cádiz from Spain, but his ill-equipped, poorly manned ships led by a soldier who with no naval experience never got past Holland. He then offended English Protestants by giving support to Catholic France against the Protestant Huguenots in hopes of enlisting France's help against Spain. France instead made peace with Spain, and Villiers then turned English troops in defense of the Huguenots. He was forced into a humiliating and costly retreat.

While organizing a fleet to aid the Huguenots (a third attempt), Villiers was stabbed to death by a disgruntled army officer, John Felton, on August 23, 1638. King Charles was greatly grieved, but Parliament was greatly relieved and hailed Felton as a hero. Villiers's death, however, occasioned improvement in Charles's marital relations with his Queen, Henrietta Maria of France, and they started getting serious about conceiving some eventual heirs.

A decade later, defeated in the English Civil War, Charles was accused of treason against England by using his power to pursue his personal interest rather than the good of the country. Clinging to his father's credo of the Divine Right of Kings, he protested that no court had jurisdiction over him because "the King can do no wrong," and refused to defend himself at trial. He was convicted, sentenced, and beheaded in January of 1649, aged 48.

Present British monarchs are descendants of Charles's only surviving sibling, Elizabeth, Queen of Bohemia by her 1613 marriage to Frederick V.

✍

Okay, you folks who didn't want to have "Mary & George" spoiled can resume reading now.

Trying to put 17th-Century English grammar in the mouths of the palace gossipers in today's cartoon, I puzzled over how to conjugate a third-person present tense verb in that final panel. Wikipedia wasn't giving me clear answers — strong verb? weak verb?  I couldn't think of a sentence in Shakespeare's œuvre that would help, although there must be one.

The obvious source, of course, would be the King James Version of the Bible, so I looked up the Beatitudes in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5.

In my Bible, third person singular verbs are conjugated the same way they are today: that is, using the most basic form of a regular verb. "They who hunger and thirst." "When men revile you." How about an irregular verb? Again and again, "Blessed are they."

Doesn't that seem wrong? In other European languages with which I'm familiar, third person plural verbs always have a suffix unique from the other conjugations. (Even in French, in which the entire suffix is silent.)

Anybody got a first printing KJV out there?

Q Toon: Technically, Awards

Theatrical Awards Season is upon us: that joyous time of year when all of Hollywood, Broadway, Bollywood, and Baftaway gather to celebrate the wonder that is themselves, emceed by a comedian whom everyone agrees afterward was the worst possible choice.

The award shows are televised, and they always run too long in spite of the orchestra director's best efforts to drown out the thank-you list of the winner of Best Animated Documentary in a Foreign Language. So the folks whose names are scrolling up the screen as the audience exits the theater (or while the TV network crunches the sped-up scroll down to a corner of the screen to make room for Limu Emu, Doug, and that Jardiance lady) have a separate, non-televised award ceremony of their own at the local Marriott.

All the buzz in 2023 was about Barbie, and Oppenheimer, and Succession, and Maestro, and Killers of the Flower Moon.

Well, almost all the buzz.

Anyone following LGBTQ media, either professional or social, heard and saw plenty about Red, White, and Royal Blue; Fellow Travelers; and Saltburn — certain hot and heavy scenes in particular.

It used to be that movies targeting a gay and queer audience had to keep the action strictly G-rated in order to hold onto an R rating. These days, we've moved way beyond a glimpse of stocking.

It also used to be that being cast as a gay character was ruin for an actor's career, especially if he wanted to be taken seriously in future leading man roles. But now, even straight actors, eager to demonstrate range (or at least wokeness), are happy to get in on the action. We have intimacy coordinators — the professionals whose job it is to keep filming respectful and the actors comfortable — to thank for that.

So if there isn't an award for our heroes in intimacy coordination, don't you think there ought to be?

Q Toon: It's Rom-Complicated

Red, White, and Royal Blue is a movie adaptation of a book by Casey McQuiston streaming this month on amazon Prime. The romantic comedy stars Taylor Zakhar Perez and Nicholas Galatzine as, respectively, the son of an American President and the second-in-line to the British throne, who initially can't stand each other. But they are thrown together by the protocol / damage control teams of the White House and Buckingham Palace after they accidentally destroy the seven-meter-tall cake at the wedding of Prince Henry's older brother.

And, of course, they end up falling in love with each other.

I haven't read the book, but I've seen the movie, and oodles of social media click-bait about it. LGBTQ media seem to be much more impressed with it than any straight media I've read. The thing LGBTQ media seem most impressed by, however, is that First Son Alex and Prince Henry are shown making out in the missionary position, which I guess straight people didn't know was a thing before. (The scene earned RW&RB an R rating, even though it's much tamer than much of what you'll see in heterosexual rom-coms. No butts or genitalia. Or grunting and groaning, for that matter.)

I'm not giving away the plot with that, by the way. A big difference between this rom-com and the standard heterosexual ones is that it's less about Will They Or Won't They than it is about Wait Till This Gets Out.

As with any rom-com, a certain suspension of belief is required. It's hard to imagine how the two could carry on their intercontinental love affair as long as they do without it showing up in the British tabloids. And a Democratic President —even one from Texas— letting her son convince her reelection team to focus on the Lone Star State to the apparent exclusion of Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and several other swing states? Really?

And some things in the film are overly precious. Not only is the American President a woman, so is the British Prime Minister, who is Black and Caribbean to boot. Also, there is always someone with a Pride Flag in the paltry crowds at Alex's campaign appearances, even before he comes out as bisexual to his parents. I suppose that suggests that 10% of voters just have very good gaydar.

Naturally, fans are hoping for a sequel; the entertainment industry being what it is, if the movie is deemed successful, amazon won't leave well enough alone. In that case, a sequel about impeachment proceedings might not be any more far-fetched than anything in the original.

In any case, I would fully expect the sequel to include yet another wedding cake disaster.

It Comes Already Furnished

 And look how open and spacious it is!

Spock's Lament

On Facebook the other day, I asked why, given that Vulcans practice arranged marriage, Spock's father, Sarek, broke with tradition and married an Earth woman.

A friend answered that Sarek, as Ambassador to Earth, decided it was the logical thing to do. Besides, as he told his son in the 2009 film reboot, "I loved her."

 

In the sequels and prequels, Vulcans hooking up with Earthlings turns out to be relatively common... Spock and Uhura... B'Ellana and Tom... T'Pol and Trip...

Humans are a bad influence, I guess.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Drawing for student newspapers forty years ago, I had vacation time along with the undergrads come mid-May. What was an aspiring cartoonist to do (besides sending cold-mail applications to any newspaper around the country that didn't already have an editorial cartoonist on staff)?

Keep in practice, that's what. This cartoon was never published anywhere until this very morning; nor did I have any publication in mind when I drew it. If I had expected to get it into the last Parkside Ranger of the school year, or the Racine Journal Times, I would certainly have put the paper's name in the cartoon.

Some late night that month, I sketched some of the cast of SCTV, a Canadian export to U.S. television in the late '70's and early '80's.  Seen here, left to right, are Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty, John Candy, Martin Short and Andrea Martin.

I drew everyone too large to fit Rick Moranis, Catherine O'Hara, Dave Thomas, or Harold Ramis on the page. I couldn't even get all of Eugene Levy's hair on it. 

Perhaps the other cast members didn't happen to be on the episode that ran that evening. At any rate, I never did get around to sketching the rest of them.

As the the top cartoon demonstrates, I needed to work on the human form, not just caricaturing human. The woman answering the phone didn't need to bend over to tie her shoes.

In this caricature of John Cougar Mellencamp, who probably appeared as the musical guest on SCTV that May, I was exploring the Big Head school of caricature. It's a good choice for someone whose body-drawing skills weren't the greatest. In spite of my trying to depict motion, his limbs are still stiff.

My Garrison Keillor looks more relaxed than my Mr. Mellencamp.

It doesn't show here with the drawing shrunk down to 100 dpi, but the page on which I drew Keillor bled considerably.

I kept a sketchbook (and still do) in addition to the drawings posted above; in it there are caricatures of friends from college, geometric designs, and idle doodles, all to keep my mind and hand in practice. Unlike these loose sheets, however, nothing in it is dated, so I don't remember when I drew what.

But just for gits and shiggles, here's a page of random faces to close out today's little exercise.

Now get out there and draw!