Q Toon: Regnum Anatium

One could argue that highlighting Duck Dynast Phil Robertson's antigay comments in GQ Magazine only serves the purposes of Sarah Palin, talk radio, and all the Foxsters out there complaining that A&E is trampling his right of free speech. Not that they ever came to the defense of free speech rights for, say, Martin Bashir, Alec Baldwin, or Keith Olberman.

His opinions regarding African-Americans are the more ridiculous and worthy of censure. But I draw for the LGBT media through Q Syndicate, so I'm afraid I must leave to others his claim that Blacks were happier before civil rights and antipoverty programs ("No one was singing the blues"). I would, however, like to assuage Mr. Robertson's fears that anatomy poses an insurmountable difficulty to gays' and lesbians' ability to have and to enjoy sex. We really are not bothered by it anywhere near as much as he is.

Meanwhile, this Greek chorus of conservative American Catholics makes its second appearance in my cartoons this week. (Here's their first appearance, in September.)

Q Toon: Small Minds Rule!

This cartoon could have been one big mess of labels.

I had initially thought that the reporter talking to Pope Francis (I shouldn't need to label him, should I?) ought to have the name of the magazine in which the "small-minded rules" interview appeared. But the magazine's name is American, and having that as the label would be confusing in its own way.

But how to label the cabal in the larger panel of the cartoon? "American Catholic Conservatives"? Admittedly, I have enough room in the panel's pan-handle for that, but it's awfully clunky. It would be clunkier still to label them each individually, although I really can't expect any reader to be able to identify all of them. Two of them have never appeared in my cartoons before.

Here are the answers to the American Catholic Conservative Quiz.

From left to right: Minnesota Archbishop John Nienstedt. Nienstedt has required Catholic students in his diocese to attend lectures expounding the evils of marriage equality, has issued orders to priests that if they disagree with his antigay stands they should shut the hell up about it, and has declared that condoms are the work of the devil.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Is there any need to explain his virulent antigay streak?

House Speaker John Boehner. He "can't imagine" ever supporting gay marriage. And then there's the allegation by former Congressman Bob Ney that on an overseas junket, Boehner said of a staffer, "Yeah, he's a good guy. I think he's a fag." I needed a Catholic politician currently in office (other than Scalia), and Boehner seemed like the most recognizable of the lot -- enough so that I could put him in the back of the crowd.

Former Senator, 2012 presidential candidate, and frothy mixture Rick Santorum, who famously equated same-sex marriage with "man-on-dog" bestiality.

National Organization for Marriage harridan Maggie Gallagher. I've drawn her often enough now that my caricature of her is actually my caricature of my caricature of her. If she hasn't been in your state lately to man the battlements against marriage equality, her face might not be familiar to you; I've been criticized before for not identifying her.

Catholic League blowhard Bill Donohue. This is my first try at his face, which should be familiar to prime-time cable crosstalk-fests and South Park devotées. Whenever anyone slights the Catholic Church in any way, no matter how justified the slight may be, Bill Donohue is on TV quicker than Gloria Allred to defend its integrity to the death.

QToon: Don't Watch That! Watch This!

That's the problem with drawing a weekly cartoon. Remember that Hilary Rosen story? It's already been preëmted by the GSA Weekend In Las Vegas Scandal, which has already been superseded by the Secret Service - Colombian Hookers Imbroglio.

Since the Allen West story is now buried under layers of news cycle sediment, here's a quick reminder. At a public event last week, the Florida Republican and Tea Party darling was asked how many Marxists there are in Congress.

"That's a fair question. I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party that are members of the Communist Party. It's called the Congressional Progressive Caucus."

There was a brief flurry of calls for West to disavow that McCarthyist crack, but the Congressman has steadfastly refused to do so.

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My use of "Faux News" on the rolling anchor desk really does a disservice to the rest of the right-wing media who spent so much time and effort harping on Hilary Rosen's foolish crack about Ann Romney. The AM radio crowd and other Newsmaxis powers did their darnedest to keep the outrage going -- even Rush "She's A Slut" Limbaugh decried the supposed Liberal War on Women.

But not until I went looking for something to which this blog post could link did I find this tweet from America's own Torquemada, Bill Donohue:

“Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own."

Take that, you contumelious strumpet! 

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Meanwhile, on the Adobe Photoshop Creative Suite front, I've now found that CS5.1 does not include the ability to import an image from a scanner or other Twain source. I've been twunked!

It's a good thing that trusty old Ulead Photo Express 3.0 still accepts input from my scanner. If only it saved files that other programs were able to find...