Qtoon: Sense and Censorability

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Paul Berge Q Syndicate •Sep 5, 2012 EditorialCartoonists.com

The fall TV programs are almost here, and a few of them have One Million Panties in a bunch.

"Partners" is a CBS program by the creators of "Will & Grace" which is essentially about the creators of "Will & Grace" except that they are architects instead of TV show writers. Or else it's a retread of "Will & Grace" in which Will is named Joe and he's straight, and Grace is named Louis and he's Jack. Or something like that. We'll see in a couple of weeks.

And NBC is introducing "The New Normal," which centers on a gay couple, the surrogate mother of their child-to-be, her opinionated grandmother, and her precocious and presumably adorable daughter. As NBC's promo page for the series puts it, "These days, families come in all forms - single dads, double moms, sperm donors, egg donors, one-night-stand donors... It's 2012 and anything goes."

Management at NBC's Salt Lake City affiliate, however, have decided that it's not 2012 and some things still don't go. They're not going to show "The New Normal." KSL management issued a statement that, "For our brand, this program simply feels inappropriate on several dimensions, especially during family viewing time." The local CW station has stepped in to show it on Saturday nights after all the good Mormons have gone to sleep.

Meanwhile, ABC is continuing the Emmy-winning "Modern Family" and spring replacement series "Happy Endings," which is "Friends" except that there's a gay guy and a black guy so you can tell the difference. And "Glee" continues on Fox, Ellen DeGeneres continues in syndication, and Andy Cohen continues in charge of Bravo.

Management at KSL aside, the reaction from the upright citizens' brigades to this smattering of TV comedies has been, frankly, far less than impressive. It could be that they're saving their energy in favor of establishing a moral monopoly on government this November. At present, if they complain about "Happy Endings," all they accomplish is calling attention to a series few people had heard of before, and possibly making a hit out of it. Take over the government, and they can have the FCC issue a fine for every episode of every program with a non-traditional family or out-of-wedlock hook-up.

It's 2013 and everything stops.

Dancing with the Stars 'toon

Religious conservatives have found a new frenzy to get into with the announcement that Chaz Bono will be on this fall's Dancing With the Stars. Chaz is famous for having been the goldilocked baby daughter of Sonny and Cher, who would bring her out at the end of their 1970's TV show to be cute while they sang "I Got You, Babe."

At 42, Chaz is now Cher's son, which deeply upsets the moral monopoly in America. They are very concerned with the question of which lavatory people go to the bathroom in, and their Dancing With the Stars experience will be totally ruined because they can't help but spend the entire show picturing Chaz taking a dump.
Tony Perkins at the Family Research Council is urging his minions to boycott the show:

"Email ABC Network and let them know that we will not tolerate these subjects being forced into our homes. DWTS airs 8/7 central when children are awake and Christian families will not enhance the ratings by watching the show when it returns September 19 unless this issue is taken care of and these cast members are replaced."

"One Million Moms" whine "This is completely unacceptable, and Christians should not watch the show. No excuses." Fox News Asshat Dr. Keith Ablow advises the nation not to let children watch any DWTS episodes in which Chaz appears, adding, "Chaz Bono should not be applauded for asserting she is a man (and goes about trying to look like one) any more than a woman who believes she will be happier without arms, has them removed and then continues to assert that she was right all along—her self-concept was that of a double amputee." (I'm sure that Ablow is similarly against facelifts, tummy tucks, and hair plugs.)

I haven't been watching DWTS, but now I suppose I'll have to just to offset one of those transphobic Moms... even though I'm not a Nielsen Family, and it won't make a difference to the show's ratings.
Meanwhile, if you're one of those Million Moms, and Dancing With the Stars has been part of your family's weekly routine all these years, and you're petrified of having to explain to your children how Chaz used to be Chastity, I have a suggestion. Instead of boycotting Dancing With the Stars, it might be easier to keep your children from watching 40-year-old reruns of Sonny and Cher.