Toon: Georgia On My Mind

I've got one more spare cartoon before the syndicated one goes up tomorrow:

Republican-run Georgia, Tennessee, and South Carolina, are rushing to reopen after only three weeks of sheltering in place.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp made the move without consulting any health experts, or any mayors of any of Georgia's major cities. But he did make sure to forbid those mayors from instituting health measures any stricter than his own. Because, you know, local government knows best why should the the state's essential businesses suffer when you can just build a wall around Albany, Georgia instead?

And what are those "essential businesses"?

I'm glad I asked me.

Bowling alleys, for one. Kemp is taking some heat for putting bowling alleys at the head of the list, but at least that's a sport in which players tend to stick their fingers only into their own personal ball. And the team's plate of nachos.

What I want to know is what the argument for including tattoo parlors is. It's mighty difficult to maintain social distancing between a tattoo artist and the client's bicep, neck, thigh, or buttcheek. Is the mental health of untattooed Georgia millennials at risk? Is Georgia in danger of falling behind Oregon in the race to achieve total tattoo coverage? Is Kemp hoping to lure Justin Bieber to the state?

At this point, managers of tattoo parlors appear to have more common sense than their governor.

Nicole Willingham, a tattoo artist at Apocalypse Tattoo in Buckhead, said many of her customers wouldn’t feel safe having a session, even if she takes extra precautions.“We have absolutely no plans of reopening until we’ve been provided with sufficient evidence that it’s safe,” said Willingham, whose husband, Ryan, owns the shop. “We probably won’t reopen until there’s a vaccine.”

Or, in the words of Atlanta barber Gabriel Ware, representing another essential business the governor would like to reopen:

 “If Brian Kemp wants to come by my house and pick up my equipment, he can go to the barbershop and cut all the hair he wants. Then, after two weeks of exposing himself to a deadly virus, he can come talk to me. This is inconsiderate of the health and safety of the people he is supposed to be leading.”

Come to think of it, it was probably a mistake to have talked about "social distancing." You know how much Republicans hate "socialism."