Q Toon: Through the Eye of the Needle

I take a risk any time I draw a cartoon like this one on the weekend before a presidential primary or caucus, knowing it won't be published until after the votes are counted and their entrails analyzed beyond recognition.

It's too bad I didn't draw it a week earlier. I have been at a loss to understand the fulsome praise heaped upon Donald "Two Corinthians" Trump by Liberty University President Jerry Falwell, Jr. (I didn't realize they had a history together.). Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas has also come as close as he can get to officially endorsing Trump without risking his megachurch's tax-exempt status (and I guess those two have no history together to explain what Jeffress sees in The Donald). An NBC News/Survey Monkey poll taken before the Iowa caucuses led one to believe that evangelicals were "flocking to Trump."

Among white evangelical Republican voters nationally, Trump earned the support of 37 percent, while Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, whose father is a pastor and has played a key role in recruiting faith leaders to support his son, is at 20 percent. In the same survey conducted the previous week, Cruz registered 9 percentage points higher. Below the top two contenders, Ben Carson earned 11 percent among evangelicals, and Marco Rubio took 10 percent.

What do these people who think President Obama is the Antichrist see in the guy often described as a thrice-married casino mogul? It can't be his powers of insightful exegesis:

Trump was raised Presbyterian and has often fumbled in his attempts to appeal to Christian and Evangelical voters. He declined to discuss his favorite Bible verse in August, after claiming the Bible was his all-time favorite book. He later tried to recite a verse that didn't actually occur in the Bible. He has also said he never asks God for forgiveness, and when asked which book of the Bible was his favorite, he said he likes the Old and New Testament equally.

On the other hand, they probably appreciated his promise to appoint Supreme Court justices who would overturn the current Court's rulings for marriage equality. The Muslim-bashing didn't hurt his standing with them, either.

But the evangelicals could get that stuff from nearly every one of the candidates in the Republican party. They bought it from Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum before -- two Iowa caucus victors who are now stranded in the wilderness wondering how they let some Richie Rich from Noo Yoark Sitty swipe their schtick.

Q Toon: You Must Remember This

Well, I went ahead and cartooned about The Kiss anyway this week.

People like ex-Giant Derrick Ward have been stunned to find out that not everyone finds it "disgusting" that Michael Sam would kiss his boyfriend, Vito Cammisano: "Man U got kids lookin at the draft. I can't believe ESPN even allowed that to happen." Happily, this attitude is not universal in the NFL (although there was also Dolphin Don Jones, who was briefly suspended and issued an apology for tweeting that Sam and Cammisano's celebration was "horrible.")

Dallas TV host Amy Kushnir stormed off the set of a local The View-esque TV show when she didn't get unquestioned agreement with her disgust. “When parents do not have a choice about whether or not they want their children to see this, it is wrong…I don’t call it a moment of celebration."

Ward and Kushnir didn't just object to the possibility of children seeing two grown men kiss. They also objected to the possibility of children seeing two grown men pushing cake onto each other's faces.

Said Kushner, "I would have said, 'Get a room!' I don't want to see cake on your faces." All but saying that some of his best friends are gay people, Ward tweeted before running out of characters: "No matter if he's gay or not. I could careless. Shoving cake into your significant others face then deep" (In a subsequent tweet, he completed the thought that Sam and Cammisano had gone "overboard.")

Mixed-sex couples pushing cake onto each other's faces has been a staple feature of every wedding reception I've ever seen . I guess Sam and Cammisano were trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage with that bit of Gay Agenda.

Now Kushnir is defending herself on Fox News, where her right to free speech is protected because nobody  there is going to contradict her. And Ward is claiming that he never said that he would begrudge Sam a little peck on the cheek, like heterosexual athletes do, but going at it like you mean it was just too much for Ward's delicate sensibilities.

A Problem Like Maria, Seite Vier

Maria might have found a career with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders if only her residual nun's modesty had not deterred her from wearing that skimpy uniform.

And her short hair. They really like the girls to wave their tresses about on the field.