This Week's Sneak Peek

The calendar is jam-packed today: It's Nossa Senhora da Conceição Aparecida Day and Children's Day in Brazil; Thanksgiving in Canada; Independence Day in Equatorial Guinea; and Health and Sports Day in Japan.

Here in the U.S., you can celebrate Columbus Day if you're Italian-American or in the capital of Ohio, or you can celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day if you're in Albuquerque, New Mexico; Portland, Oregon; Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota; and Seattle and Olympia, Washington.

Or you can celebrate Thank Our Lady of Indigenous Italian Independent Children's Sports Day and piss everybody off.