Our pussy-grabbing President-reelect has, to Republicans' great surprise, named Matt Gaetz, the newly resigned Congresssleazeball from Florida, to be the highest law enforcement official in the land in his even-more-corrupt-than-the-first second administration.
Gaetz has been under investigation by the House Ethics Committee for the past three years over allegations of his drug-fueled sex parties with under-age girls. Republicans in Congress have reported that he showed them photographs of the girls he'd had sex with; but he went from boasting of his exploits to throwing roadblocks in front of the Ethics Committee's inquiry, including taking down Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy when McCarthy wouldn't quash the investigation for him.
His one remaining friend in the caucus, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Chastity Beltway), has proved more amenable, vowing to bury the committee's findings on the grounds that Gaetz resigned just as the committee was finally ready to go public. Johnson says it's because Gaetz is now just a private citizen.
Like Hunter Biden.
Even some of Trump's most slavish defenders are trying to convince themselves that Gaetz's nomination is somehow "not serious," or intended as a feint to get someone slightly less outrageous into the job. If so, Gary’s is one of many not-serious nominees.
The primary experience Trump is looking for as he assembles his Cabinet of Dr. Tarr & Professor Fether is TV screen time: a Saturday morning Fox Noise host for Defense (the sexual assault allegations against him are apparently a bonus); a syndicated snake oil salesman to run Medicare and Medicaid; a pro wrestling personality for Education; and a 1997 contestant on Real World Boston for Transportation. Trump is still trying to choose between the My Pillow Guy and the Oxy Clean Guy which one gets Commerce which one gets Labor.
The more plum position goes to the Guy with the more sexual misconduct accusations.
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