The Mars candy company decided to redesign the outfits of their two female animated M&M characters this month. No longer does the brown M strut about in stiletto heels. The green M has swapped out go-go boots for sneakers.
All this was too much for Fox "News" host Tucker Carlson, who lit into Mars Incorporated on his show for going all woke and ruining his hard-shelled chocolaty sexual fantasies.
Now, for all I know, the scenario I have presented this week would really turn Tucker on. As long as the gals didn't start wearing flannel, khaki and facial piercings. They've already got the shaved head look.
After several week's of nothing but wordy four-panel cartoons, I was ready for something in a single panel. So thank you, Tucker Carlson, for devoting some of your umbrage to a couple of candy mascots changing their footwear.
Just wait until he finds out that the blue M was assigned pink at birth.
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