Ground Hog Day's Sneak Peek

January, 2025

Part 2 of the visit from Max's mom is coming up this week; and at this point it might be relevant to remind loyal readers that she perhaps lives in or around Washington, D.C.

P.S. FDT.

Q Toon: Prison Break

Out of the blue, Shittiest President Ever Donald Dump  Trump announced on the Ministry of Truth Social that he had commuted the prison sentence of disgraced former Congresscritter George Santos, a.k.a. Anthony Devolder, a.k.a. Kitara Rivera, who was less than three months into serving a five-year sentence on multiple federal charges of identity theft and wire fraud.

Commutation of Santos's sentence also means that he gets out of paying fines and restitution. And if you think that’s outrageous, just wait until you witness Infinitely Corrupt Emperor Trump awarding himself over a quarter billion-with-a-B of your tax dollars while the whole government is shut down.

Santos says that he's a changed man, which should alert everyone in the country to check whether they have just become a victim of identity theft.

"George Santos was somewhat of a 'rogue,' but there are many rogues throughout our Country that aren't forced to serve seven years in prison," Trump wrote. Trump likened what prosecutors had called Santos's "mountain of lies, theft, and fraud" to Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CN) having stolen Vietnam service valor, which he called "far worse than what George Santos did, and at least Santos had the Courage, Conviction, and Intelligence to ALWAYS VOTE REPUBLICAN!"

So there we have the essence of Trumpism: loyalty to Boss Donald gets you absolved of all felonies and misdemeanors, whereas anyone who has ever crossed him gets persecuted by the full weight of the Department Formerly Known As Justice, the masked jack-booted thugs of ICE, and the Red State National Guard.

Should Zohran Mamdani win the mayoralty of New York as expected, count on Generalissimo Shit Dumper to issue an executive order naming George Santos-Devolder-Rivera-YourNameHere Emergency Military Mayor of Occupied New York.

Q Toon: Pardon Me Boys

And now, as Paul Harvey used to say, for the rest of the story.

MAGA Max and Liberal Leo have become my parable for a nation struggling to figure out how to live together these days.

Neither one really understands the other, and even though we first met Max and Leo at their couple's therapy session, at least one of them is not making much of an effort in that direction. Max has been rubbing the results of last year's election in Leo's face, and Leo has mostly been gritting his teeth and developing ulcers.

Surely something brought them together sometime in the past, but their interests have diverged in vastly different directions since then. They may speak the same language, yet the words don't mean the same thing to each other. It's now as if they come from different planets — they laugh at different comics; they root for different teams.

How long before one washes the other right out of his hair?

Never mind, for the sake of a musical reference, that Leo's pate is as bald as a cue ball.

And now Max has his very own presidential pardon for the Felon-in-Chief's Stop The Peaceful Transfer Of Power Rally, just ahead of the Justice system finally catching up with him.

He might even have been the guy charging up the Capitol steps with the rainbow flag.

Why, there he is!

Mind you, I have no intention of having Max get caught with kiddie porn on his computer, or get shot in a traffic stop, as a few (so far) of Trump's J6 so-called heroes have been. 

Now that he has his own presidential Get Out Of Jail Free card, we may never know what Max's role was on January 6, 2021. I suspect that Leo has already heard more than he wants to. Leo is likely, however, to want to come along with Max's mother's medical appointments from now on.

In any event, if you're wondering how these two can continue to share a home, so am I.